BITE THE GOD, EVERYDAY!

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There are thousands of hysteria patients, but only one Shahrukh Khan

There have been thousands of magicians, but only one Sathya Sai

There are millions of paperweights, but only thousands are iPhones

There are millions of slices of bread toasted every day, but only one was Jesus Toast and all of them can be Jesus Toasts now, for just $30 (click here)!! The beards of Jesus may add some extra fiber to your diet. TRY IT.

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There is no meaning to life

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………… but the flawed meaningless life makes all the sense when I come back home, to you!

(ah, just two more hours for the day)

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NRI TEEN’S INDIA TRIP!

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So, Dad, here you are considered ‘cultured’ if you

• are blank about a more evolved language like Sanskrit, and use English (that, too, often wrong) with the vernacular every now and then!
• remember all the recent Emmy winners but not any PadmaBhushans (agreed, that even Rajiv Gandhi won Bharat Ratna, but then, if you have to doubt, doubt every damn award. What the big fcuk did Obama do to win the Nobel!)
• ‘dine’ at KFC and ‘prefer to drink’ Bud Light over so many better options!

Twitter Reach & Popularity (TRP)

Measure your own TRP rating and find where in the tweet chain you are. Enter your @Handle (optional), # of tweets, # of followers and #following data below, and see your TRP!

 

https://r.office.microsoft.com/r/rlidExcelEmbed?su=-8913017922203258172&Fi=SD844E996C466272C4!111&kip=1&wdAllowInteractivity=False&AllowTyping=True&ActiveCell=’Indrajit.Wordpress.com’!B3&Item=’Indrajit.Wordpress.com’!B1%3AF3&wdHideGridlines=True

 

 

Interpreting your TRP. (Click on image to see in high resolution)

 

Here is a list of Twitter handles and corresponding TRP. The numbers are for an instant in time and can change any time.

CyBaba – The Cyber Baba

 

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Image sources:

http://srisubramaniamthroupathai.webs.com/articlesoflordshiva.htm

http://www.smansukhlal.com/our_products.html

FIVE REASONS WHY THE KANSAS BIGFOOT VIDEO IS NOT FAKE

The recent BigFoot footage (no pun intended) has created a bit of controversy. Some people, as usual, have cried ‘hoax’, while some people, with open minds, tried to get to the root of it and find out the TRUTH. Here are the reasons top scientists (the bespectacled, and often bearded, people who discuss ‘very complicated’ mystries on Discovery/History channel) believe that this might be the first credible video evidence of BigFoot:

ONE. If you notice carefully the way the creature walks, you will see that the Flexor Tetramycepa muscles are used to control the rythm of the motion. This is never true for human being, but almost always true for the great apes like gorrila and chimpanzees. That means the creature is a closer relative to the great apes than to humans.

TWO. Now, carefully notice the way the creature stops and again starts to move. Notice that the relative angle between the bones Femurus Podus and Hipoclust Major is never greater than 15 degrees. This is true only for human beings. For the apes, this angle is always over 30 degrees. From these two points it seems that the creature has some features of apes and some of human beings. So it must be something in between, and hence it is proved that it is a BigFoot.

THREE. Even without going into such scientific details, we can prove that the video is not fake simply by applying logic. We all know that, “God exists because the Bible says so, and the Bible is the truth because God has spoken through it.” If we apply this sound logic in the case of BigFoot, we come to the irrefutable logical conclusion that, “BigFoot exists because the video showed it, and the video is not fake because you can see a BigFoot in it.” End of debate.

FOUR. If the three reasons mentioned above are not convincing enough for someone, this one will be. Did you pay attention to what the video-guy said at the beginning? Yes, he says something about making history. Had the BigFoot or the video been fake, would the guy mention the very word, ‘history’? para-psychologists say, ‘no’.

FIVE. The simplest and yet the most convincing reason came from none other than the brilliant mathematician Parah Salin. She said that, “The creature undoubtedly looked like a BigFoot.” When something looks like a God do you mistake it as a pork chop, or when someone looks like a Martian do you mistake him as a rapper? No. Similarly, when something “looks like a BigFoot”, it has to be a BigFoot.

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Source: Long Island Iced Tea

Tere Bin Laden

Top Ten Osama Tweets from around the globe:

– With both SaiBABA and OsaMA dead, the humanity became orphan #TereBinLaden

– “I still remember my grandmother calling my dad, Shyamaprasad, ”o shama, khabar diyechhi” ” #BanglaOsama

– Not all that glitters is gold. Not all bearded Osama is bin Laden

– Some bearded old man in Pakistan is dead, and posthumously named as Osama bin Laden

– Osama or not, someone in Pakistan is dead. It’s time to rejoice

–”Troops are needed in Libya. Let’s kill some b*stard in Pakistan, declare Osama dead, and withdraw troops from that region”

– Don’t say “tel nei” (no oil for you) to an American. See what happened to Saddam of Iraq, Osama of Saudi Arabia and Gaddafi of Libya

– “Pakistan’s ‘sovereignty’ has been violated” #TheHumorousSideOfMusharraf

– O-sama, sama tha woh pyaar ka ……….

– The brit wedding had kicked Sai Baba out of the news. Now Osama has taken revenge for Sai and kicked the British couple out. #JusticeServed

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Yes, I tweeted these from around the globe I purchased for $20 from TJMaxx

I did not expect part of this post to become a reality so soon!

The Royal Circus

You might be forgiven if you had muted the television while watching the circus, and thought, “a balding guy is kissing a pretty lady wrapped in a huge Persian rug, and a few thousand perverts are watching and cheering!” Actually, it was a British dude’s wedding. The tax payers had to bear most of the cost, so they want to see some ‘act’!

If the television is unmuted, the commentators’ politically correct words would make you feel that you have witnessed one of the greatest moments in human history, that Kate Middleton, and the dude she married, looked ‘stunning’ and ‘smart’ respectively, and that love was oozing out (the British queen might have slipped a couple of times on that!).

Soon, there will be the claims that four thirds (!) of the whole human population has watched the circus, making it the most watched event ‘ever’. (Yeah, I have watched 3 minutes of it. I WATCHED THE BRITISH ROYAL WEDDING LIVE. HOW COOL AM I!).

A Tribute

Ah! People do really dig deep to pay tribute to someone after his/her death. Here is what might be said (later, of course) for each of these persons:

Osama Bin Laden:

[Sachin Tendulkar breaks down while paying his tribute]
People from different walks of life are saying:
“A great soul ……. he had united the whole world against himself”
“It’s a great loss to the humanity ……… wars teach you so much, and help sell so many video games”