. Informed . Opinions .

August 10, 2012

REAL ASSASSIN OF MAHATMA GANDHI

Filed under: India — Tags: , , , — Raja @ 6:28 PM
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শিক্ষক: মহাত্মা গান্ধীকে কে মেরেছিল?
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সুবোধ: কেউ মারে নি স্যার | দিব্যি বেঁচে বর্তে আছে আর পুকুর ধারে লুকিয়ে লুকিয়ে চান করা দেখছে – এই তো জানলা দিয়ে পষ্ট দেখতে পাচ্ছি |  শুধু নাটকের পোশাক ছেড়ে এখন আবার পল্টু হয়েছে |
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শিক্ষক: অসভ্য বাঁদর | শৈবাল তুমি বল |
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শৈবাল: স্যার, আগের বছর ভটকা-দা মেরেছিল | এবার ওরা দীঘা বেড়াতে গিয়েছিল বলে বাধ্য হয়ে ফটিক মেরে দিয়েছে |
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শিক্ষক: আঃ, নাটকের কথা হচ্ছে না | আসল গান্ধীকে কে মেরেছিল?
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স্বপন: আজ্ঞে সঠিক জানা যায় না স্যার, তবে আমার সন্দেহ হয় ওনার স্ত্রী-র হাত আছে এতে | গান্ধী বোধ হয় জয়ন্তী দেবীর সঙ্গে, মানে ………. ইয়ে …….. ফস্টিনস্টি করছিলেন, আর ওনার স্ত্রী ঘরে ঢুকে পড়েছিলেন | বিধাতার পরিহাস স্যার, তিনি তখন জানতেন না যে রোমিও-জুলিয়েট, লায়লা-মজনু, লাল্টু-টুম্পার মত গান্ধী-জয়ন্তীর গল্প-ও অমর হয়ে যাবে |
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শিক্ষক: কী আহাম্মক সব | আচ্ছা, বাবা সুধাংশু, তুমি তো ফার্স্ট বয়, তুমিই বল |
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সুধাংশু: স্যার আমার বইয়ের অনেকগুলো পাতা আমার ভাই সর্দি দিয়ে আটকে দিয়েছে তাই ভালো করে পড়তে পারি নি | যেটুকু পড়তে পারলাম তাতে মনে হয় হিন্দু-মুসলিম ভাগাভাগির জেরে উনি শেষ পর্যন্ত মুসোলিনির হাতেই প্রাণ দেন |
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July 9, 2012

SATYENDRANATH BOSE; AND THE “GOD PARTICLE” DEMYSTIFIED

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“সত্যেন বোস না কী জানি নাম, সে নাকি খুব একটা শক্ত কাজ করেছিল | এই তো সেদিন স্টার আনন্দ-এ বলল | কি একটা ছোট জিনিস নাকি সে কবে খুঁজে পেয়েছিল না কোথায় লুকিয়ে রাখা আছে সেই সন্ধান দিয়েছিল, এখন জানাজানি হয়েছে | তাই নিয়েই টিভি-তে কাগজে কত না মাতামাতি – কত নাকি শক্ত কাজ সেটা | ভিমরতি আর কি | আমার নাতি লাল্টু এখন এই বয়সে শক্ত শক্ত সিঁড়ি ভাঙ্গা অঙ্ক করে | এক দিন নাকি একটা লসাগুও করেছে | পাড়ার ভটচাজ্জি মশাই ফি শনিবার রক্ষেকালি পুজোর মত শক্ত পুজো করছেন | কয় তা নিয়ে তো বাপু কারুর মাথা ব্যথা নেই | যত আদিখ্যেতা | সোমেশ্বর-এর সোমত্ত মেয়ে-টা কোন ছোকরার সঙ্গে ভাব করে ভাগলো সেটা খুঁজে বার করলে তো কাজ হয় | ত়া নয়, নানা রকম টিপকল পাতিকল (particle) খুঁজে চলেছে |”
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“আহা বোলো না | কোন কথায় কি দোষ হয় কে জানে | টিভি-তে বলল শোন নি, ওই বোসমশাই-কে কোন এক বড় ঠাকুর, রবি ঠাকুর বলল বোধ হয়, সাক্ষাত দিয়েছিলেন আর একটা মন্ত্রপূত বই* দিয়েছিলেন | সেই বই-তেই হয়ত ওই ছোট কি জিনিস, তার সন্ধান দেওয়া ছিল | …………………………… আচ্ছা, ভটচাজ্জি মশাই-কে বলে দেখলে হয় না, যদি কোনো হোম যজ্ঞ করে ওই রকম একটা বই স্বর্গ থেকে টেনে নামানো যায় | তাহলে পরে আমাদের পাড়ারও বেশ একটা নাম ডাক হয় |”
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 * রবীন্দ্রনাথ “বিশ্ব পরিচয়” বইটি সত্যেন্দ্রনাথ বসু-কে উত্সর্গ করেছিলেন
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June 20, 2012

A FATHER IS BORN

Filed under: Blue Diamond! — Raja @ 1:18 PM

There is nothing more beautiful than those tiny hands and feet of yours, and nothing more reassuring than the confused look in your wide eyes!

We talk among ourselves. You know we do – your mother, you and I. There is so much to talk about. You have your own stories of the cozy world you had been a part of for nine months – how it was perfectly warm and no bell had to be sounded when you needed food, and how, fairly often, the whole world shook hysterically (actually, that was your mom laughing at my silly jokes!). We have stories of our world – the world that we three will now share with so many others. Our world has a lot more stories – a lot more complex and a lot more confusing stories. There are stories about our past, and about our dreams. Stories about family, society, languages, cultures, love, wars, evolution, creation ……….. and things beyond. We will flip through the pages together.

I had always thought I would teach you the right things; show you the right way. How I would love to guide you to the truth! And write stories on my own for you to get to know the world.

Now, as you came into this world, so did I. And it’s a sweet paradox out here – where life must feed on death and vision is but blind faith. Right and wrong are but mirage of the same fallacious truth!

What was the path I took to this bliss – an undreamably beautiful wife, the cutest little baby boy, the most caring parents and relatives, and the very best of friends? I wish I knew. I cannot promise you any answer, but you can take my word for it that I will be with you, whatever path we all choose to tread on. We will explore it together. As we float in this infinite expanse of nowhere and nothing, you will always be anchored to us.

As you came to our world, I am born. As a father.

February 23, 2012

IS INDIA HEADED IN THE WRONG DIRECTION?

 Is India headed in the wrong direction? I think it is time we gave some serious thoughts about the slow poisoining of our rights and values that is taking place in our country now:

  • Our right to be hit & killed by exotic cars is now often being trivialized as drunken road accidents! (Remember Shlok 32, Chapter 11 from Geeta,
    One who gets hit and killed by a speeding Lamborghini, gets to roam around in my Pushpak Viman at a 30% discounted price“) (more…)

January 18, 2012

BITE THE GOD, EVERYDAY!

Filed under: Holy Fcuk — Tags: , , , — Raja @ 2:00 PM

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There are thousands of hysteria patients, but only one Shahrukh Khan

There have been thousands of magicians, but only one Sathya Sai

There are millions of paperweights, but only thousands are iPhones

There are millions of slices of bread toasted every day, but only one was Jesus Toast and all of them can be Jesus Toasts now, for just $30 (click here)!! The beards of Jesus may add some extra fiber to your diet. TRY IT.

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September 22, 2011

NRI TEEN’S INDIA TRIP!

Filed under: Floating Turd, India — Tags: , , , — Raja @ 11:39 AM

So, Dad, here you are considered ‘cultured’ if you

  • are blank about a more evolved language like Sanskrit, and use English (that, too, often wrong) with the vernacular every now and then!
  • remember all the recent Emmy winners but not any PadmaBhushans (agreed, that even Rajiv Gandhi won Bharat Ratna, but then, if you have to doubt, doubt every damn award. What the big fcuk did Obama do to win the Nobel!)
  • ‘dine’ at KFC and ‘prefer to drink’ Bud Light over so many better options! (more…)

July 26, 2011

CyBaba – The Cyber Baba

Filed under: Holy Fcuk — Tags: , , , — Raja @ 3:50 PM

 

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Image sources:

http://srisubramaniamthroupathai.webs.com/articlesoflordshiva.htm
http://www.smansukhlal.com/our_products.html

July 13, 2011

FIVE REASONS WHY THE KANSAS BIGFOOT VIDEO IS NOT FAKE

The recent BigFoot footage (no pun intended) has created a bit of controversy. Some people, as usual, have cried ‘hoax’, while some people, with open minds, tried to get to the root of it and find out the TRUTH. Here are the reasons top scientists (the bespectacled, and often bearded, people who discuss ‘very complicated’ mystries on Discovery/History channel) believe that this might be the first credible video evidence of BigFoot:

ONE. If you notice carefully the way the creature walks, you will see that the Flexor Tetramycepa muscles are used to control the rythm of the motion. This is never true for human being, but almost always true for the great apes like gorrila and chimpanzees. That means the creature is a closer relative to the great apes than to humans.

TWO. Now, carefully notice the way the creature stops and again starts to move. Notice that the relative angle between the bones Femurus Podus and Hipoclust Major is never greater than 15 degrees. This is true only for human beings. For the apes, this angle is always over 30 degrees. From these two points it seems that the creature has some features of apes and some of human beings. So it must be something in between, and hence it is proved that it is a BigFoot.

THREE. Even without going into such scientific details, we can prove that the video is not fake simply by applying logic. We all know that, “God exists because the Bible says so, and the Bible is the truth because God has spoken through it.” If we apply this sound logic in the case of BigFoot, we come to the irrefutable logical conclusion that, “BigFoot exists because the video showed it, and the video is not fake because you can see a BigFoot in it.” End of debate.

FOUR. If the three reasons mentioned above are not convincing enough for someone, this one will be. Did you pay attention to what the video-guy said at the beginning? Yes, he says something about making history. Had the BigFoot or the video been fake, would the guy mention the very word, ‘history’? para-psychologists say, ‘no’.

FIVE. The simplest and yet the most convincing reason came from none other than the brilliant mathematician Parah Salin. She said that, “The creature undoubtedly looked like a BigFoot.” When something looks like a God do you mistake it as a pork chop, or when someone looks like a Martian do you mistake him as a rapper? No. Similarly, when something “looks like a BigFoot”, it has to be a BigFoot.

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Source: Long Island Iced Tea

May 2, 2011

Tere Bin Laden

Filed under: The Grand Circus — Tags: , — Raja @ 9:32 AM

Top Ten Osama Tweets from around the globe:

— With both SaiBABA and OsaMA dead, the humanity became orphan #TereBinLaden

— “I still remember my grandmother calling my dad, Shyamaprasad, “o shama, khabar diyechhi” ” #BanglaOsama

— Some bearded old man in Pakistan is dead, and posthumously named as Osama bin Laden

— Osama or not, someone in Pakistan is dead. It’s time to rejoice

— Don’t say “tel nei” (no oil for you) to an American. See what happened to Saddam of Iraq, Osama of Saudi Arabia and Gaddafi of Libya

— “Pakistan’s ‘sovereignty’ has been violated” #TheHumorousSideOfMusharraf

— O-sama, sama tha woh pyaar ka ……….

— The brit wedding had kicked Sai Baba out of the news. Now Osama has taken revenge for Sai and kicked the British couple out. #JusticeServed

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Yes, I tweeted these from around the globe I purchased for $20 from TJMaxx

I did not expect part of this post to become a reality so soon!

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