. Informed . Opinions .

July 1, 2010

Foot(ball) in Mouth

If god is not gay, he will surely make Paraguay win this world cup. Image source: hestar.com

As if Paul’s pick was not demotivating enough for the Argentine players, now Maradona has threatened to run naked on the streets of Buenos Aires if Argentina wins the World Cup! On the other hand, think of the morale of the Paraguyan players – Larissa Riquelme will run naked if Paraguay wins the World Cup. Rumor is, even Maradona now cheers for Paraguay. The whole wide world (www) is looking forward to Paraguay’s victory in the final. To start with, the Spaniards may not even show up for their quarter final match against Paraguay.

The French players had to go home early. They care for their children. Ireland had threatened to send a team of their best Catholic priests to France after Irish defeat in the pre-WorldCup Ireland-France game.

Sepp Blatter is set to be the next Pope. He has all the qualities to be one – he doesn’t care for logic, he is a technophobe, and he has, almost certainly, stopped using condoms.

A kid from India: “Mom banned watching soccer so I watch Discovery Channel all the time. It’s amazing to see how all the plants, animals, terrorists and shooting stars are always conspiring against the USA and how those major catastrophes are always averted in the very last minute (Discovery Channel actually shows a ticking clock each time they say, “the clock is ticking!”) by some well-bearded scientists from the Glacier State University, Bozeman, Montana. Who wants to watch soccer leaving such entertainment?”

Jimmy Kimmel, in a television show, said that if he ever finds where the country Mali is, he will confront the referee, Koman Coulibaly, who disallowed one valid USA goal against Slovenia. Whoever Jimmy Kimel is one thing is clear that it is extremely hard for him to find Mali because that is outside his world. He had the WORLD CHAMPIONS Lakers as guests, and Mali certainly is not part of the HUGE world that Lakers have conquered!

Honor(!) killing is as popular in Haryana as soccer is in Brazil. But one recent incident went a bit too far and became a lot more grusome. When two from the Kushwaha family were killed by the members of the Marwaha family, the Kushwaha family retaliated by buying every kid of the Marwaha family a vuvuzela each!

It’s a well-known fact that the promising Formula-1 drivers in India are facing a lot of resistance from the pedestrians and pavement-dwellers (fortunately, not from the police, though). But it is surprising that the six ABVP activists who practised soccer with passion (some put it as, “kicked Prof Sabharwal to death“) could not take India to the finals of the World Cup! May be those guys should have practised more – on Shivraj Singh Chouhan.

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27 Comments »

  1. Though the TV was in the front, all action and entertainment was going in the back. Only one person seems to have realized that, and he took away all the credits 🙂

    Comment by R — July 2, 2010 @ 12:03 AM

  2. you r back 2 ur sarcastic best. and even dark humor
    this one is short but exxxxxxxtremely well written

    looking fwd 2 d spain-paraguay match now 😉

    Comment by Pranay — July 2, 2010 @ 7:03 AM

  3. Entertaining as usual.
    Hey, did you read about the North Korean players. Apparently the players have been sent to work in coal mines as punishment for their loss.

    Sad naa?

    Comment by Purba — July 2, 2010 @ 10:34 AM

    • didn’t know ’bout the North Korean players. that’s just the right punishment for them – I’ve lost 2 points on the Yahoo Predictions site for their loss against Portugal 😛

      Comment by Raja — July 2, 2010 @ 1:10 PM

  4. my god…such a high-end post! i tried understanding it .. and found myself smiling ….!! thanks

    Comment by sushmita — July 2, 2010 @ 11:07 AM

    • Need to be a little more into soccer, may be 😛

      Comment by Raja — July 2, 2010 @ 1:10 PM

  5. You have been tagged at my blog.

    Comment by sands — July 2, 2010 @ 11:39 AM

    • Oops, didn’t notice. will reply to all tags soon 🙂

      Comment by Raja — July 2, 2010 @ 1:11 PM

  6. Brilliant post …. you are terrific on every count. So many ‘read between the lines’….indeed Kimel does not know about Mali…. especially when he has cheered for the World Series of Baseball !!

    Comment by le embrouille blogueur — July 2, 2010 @ 12:35 PM

    • Thanks – just the kind of comment my ego was expecting 😉

      Comment by Raja — July 2, 2010 @ 1:11 PM

  7. I AM NOT SURE HOW MANY CASUAL READERS WILL BE ABLE TO COMPREHEND THE HUMOUR HERE. I HAD TO READ THE WHOLE POST TWICE, SLOWLY, TO UNDERSTAND (AND THEN LAUGH)

    THIS IS ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT STUFF, AND DEFINITELY NOT FOR THE COMMON PEOPLE. SATIRE IS NOT EVERYONE’S CUP OF TEA. ON TOP OF THAT, YOUR READER NEEDS TO BE WELL-INFORMED. BUT WHOEVER WILL GET IT, WILL DEFINITELY DIGG IT.

    YOU GOT A REGULAR VISITOR FROM NOW ON.

    Comment by Aadit — July 2, 2010 @ 3:28 PM

    • 😮
      That’s absolutely flattering, unless you’re being sarcastic 😛

      Comment by Raja — July 3, 2010 @ 1:12 PM

  8. Haha… the naked threat was taken a bit too far today. Sahil Riz, popular cartoonist of the Bollywood spoof-side Vigil Idiot threatened to draw a naked stick-figure if Holland won.

    Here is his contribution: http://twitpic.com/21t0gu

    Comment by Anirban — July 2, 2010 @ 6:54 PM

    • May be ppl r looking fwd to some more threats from some Spaniards now

      Comment by Raja — July 3, 2010 @ 1:13 PM

  9. That vuvuzela thing cracked me up..Sarcasm ohh sarcasm

    Comment by Nish — July 3, 2010 @ 11:24 AM

  10. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by arvindsaraswat, Samadrita. Samadrita said: Came across this hilarious post on IndiBlogger . Read:- https://indrajit.wordpress.com/2010/07/01/football-in-mouth/ http://fb.me/Co635GNy […]

    Pingback by Tweets that mention Foot(ball) in Mouth « . Informed . Opinions . -- Topsy.com — July 4, 2010 @ 7:53 AM

  11. Foot(ball) in Mouth « . Informed . Opinions ….

    I found your entry interesting do I’ve added a Trackback to it on my weblog :)…

    Trackback by Foot Problems 101 — July 5, 2010 @ 4:17 AM

  12. Paraguay didn’t win the World Cup!! Oh my God!

    Comment by Indian Homemaker — July 21, 2010 @ 10:17 AM

    • Who cares? Larissa stripped anyway 😛

      Comment by Raja — July 21, 2010 @ 10:21 AM

  13. I meant what about god? Do you really think…???

    Comment by Indian Homemaker — July 21, 2010 @ 10:30 AM

    • God couldn’t just let Paraguay win. That’d be injustice, ‘coz there were better teams. But He made Larissa strip.
      Master strokes from God. These incidents go on to prove the existence of God. I should add this point to the list here: https://indrajit.wordpress.com/2010/05/20/open_challenge/

      Comment by Raja — July 21, 2010 @ 10:34 AM

      • Btw, I have used your ‘name’ in my second last post. ‘Indian Homemaker’ sounds cool. Couldn’t help using it 😛

        And I’ve blogrolled you 🙂

        Comment by Raja — July 21, 2010 @ 10:36 AM

      • I am so relieved!!

        Comment by Indian Homemaker — July 21, 2010 @ 11:03 AM

      • I have blogrolled you too 🙂 (I mean subscribed in my reader)

        Comment by Indian Homemaker — July 21, 2010 @ 11:05 AM


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