. Informed . Opinions .

April 23, 2010

CHANGE INDIA: IN 8 EASY STEPS

Filed under: The Grand Circus — Tags: , , , , — Raja @ 1:41 PM

[NOTE: IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO READ THE ENTIRE POST, JUST WRITE A COMMENT TO SHOW YOUR SUPPORT FOR THE CHANGE-INDIA MOVEMENT]

Mahatma Gandhi had once said, “blog about the change you want to see in India”, or something like that. Whatever, ….. the real meaning of that sentence was that he had wanted to see every Indian publish a blog, or at least a blogpost, titled “Change India”. If I remember properly, Akshay Kumar played the role of Mahatma Gandhi in the movie Namaste London and voiced that “proud to be an Indian” speech originally written by Mahatma Gandhi, to silence the two annoying goras in that movie who dared say something against his bad acting. Even Shah Rukh Khan has once said, “My Name is Khan” to silence some people at some airport. I think that was also a call to the Indian bloggers.

Alleged 'upper caste' people making fun of Mayawati with a cheap paper garland

Alleged ‘upper caste’ people making fun of Mayawati with a cheap paper garland

Our politicians, most notably Lalu Yadav and Mayawati, have set examples for us of dedication and sacrifice. Both Lalu and Mayawati have sacrificed their values, and even many human lives, in their determination to change India. Lalu had, at one time, even sacrificed his own food for the poor people of India and shared fodder with the cows. This selfless deed has been immortalized as The Great Fodder Scam of India. Such has been the dedication of Mayawati for changing India that some ‘upper caste’ people had made fun of her by offering her a garland made out of paper, and the poor lady didn’t even notice that the garland didn’t have any flowers! Such devoted politicians not only tried to change India, they urged us to dream about India Shining. And, India, indeed, is shining. You can see it from an airplane – other than the few-and-far-between green patches, the drought-hit land really shines.

Bhagwan Shri San Sananan Sai Sai Charanam. Image source: thefuntimesguide.com

The chain mail, titled “Proud to be Indian”, that every non-patriotic Indian hated to receive, eventually had this line added at the bottom: “992. Last, but certainly not the least: This email has become the most circulated chain-mail in the world beating the Chinese chain-mail titled “Kung Pao Tum Kao”. The third place is held by an Indian-origin chain-mail that has the photo of the cracked-heel feet of Bhagwan Shri San Sananan Sai Sai Baba. We should congratulate each other for this outstanding performance.”

Yes, a lot of work has already been done. Yes, a lot of blogs have already been written. And, yes, a lot of mails have already been forwarded. But a lot of blogs are yet to be written and a lot of mails are yet to be forwarded to really change India. Now let’s discuss these here. (I am not sure about how much work is yet to be done, though).

ONE. Demand changing the National Anthem:

We should start from the very base. Our national anthem does not represent our nation. It is written in Sanskritized Bengali and by a Bengali poet – neither the language nor the poet is Indian. Moreover, the present national anthem, even though originally written in praise of ‘god’, was used by Indian national Congress to praise King George V. Our national leaders during the nineteen forties and fifties were all devout King George V followers and hence had chosen it as our national anthem. Time has come for a change now. We should rather have “Jai Ho”.

TWO. Patronize games and sports:

We should patronize games and sports for a healthier India. We should encourage kids to watch more cricket matches on the television. Patriotic young Indians religiously watch some national sporting tournaments like those of National Basketball Association and National Football League.

THREE. Show that you are proud to be an Indian:

This is conveniently done by forwarding chain mails and joining I-am-proud-to-be-an-Indian group on Facebook. While we may have some special feelings for the people from different states in India, we should continue tweeting about national integrity.

FOUR. Blame the real culprit:

It’s very important that we blame someone for the corruption, or riots, or ……. whatever. The point is, we should blame someone. It should be either very general, or very vague – like “media are to be blamed”, or “the system is to be blamed” etc. Now enjoy the feeling of relief – you have done your part to change India.

FIVE. Call for ONE national language:

If your mother (or father) tongue is Hindi, show your patriotism by ridiculing every other Indian language and forcing everyone to accept Hindi as THE national language. If your parental tongue is not Hindi, sign petitions for VC++ to be made the national language.

SIX. Celebrate Gandhi Jayanti:

Remember his teachings. I guess he had stressed on diet control. So, try to have one no-pizza-day every week.

Our most respected national heros

Our most respected national heroes

SEVEN. Support our national heroes:

Support them by watching every movie they are in. Remember that while Salman Khan, Shah Rukh Khan etc are national heroes, Rajinikanth is more of a regional hero. Some people have this misconception that the soldiers of the Indian military are our national heroes.

EIGHT. Buy Indian goods:

Buy Indian goods. But first wait for them to go to USA/UK and get a brand name. Once the same Bapuji-brand t-shirt gets a Nautica logo, it feels like you are not wearing a t-shirt, you are wearing Bipasha Basu/ John Abraham (depending on your sexual preference).

The movement has really picked up. With all the calls for change through chain-mails, movies, blogs, political speeches, …….. India (whatever that thing is) may someday really decide to change! Till then, let’s all enjoy the circus.

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37 Comments »

  1. hahahaha………..brilliant post man. very strong sarcasm and very very true. if only we all could see things the way you can! i don’t forward chain emails, but i do force people to speak in hindi haha

    Comment by Pranay — April 23, 2010 @ 4:31 PM

    • Thanks Pranay. You’re almost always the first one to comment on my posts 🙂

      Comment by Raja — April 23, 2010 @ 5:45 PM

  2. You eventually convey the message so effectively. Good one! You should change your Blog’s name to *Multiple Sarcasm*.

    Btw, did you just get the plot for your next post. Heard there is some Sexy Swami being beaten with chappals for having had unnatural sex! Whatever.

    P.S. Hate to see some typos on your wonderful post. Would you do the needful, please? Sorry this is an occupational hazard which certain people, when pointed out often mix up as being condescending and label me a spell-checking b*tch!

    Comment by PreeOccupied — April 23, 2010 @ 5:02 PM

    • Corrected the typos I could find. Thanks for (not) pointing them out 😛
      I had something different in mind than the cheap post you can see here 😦

      Comment by Raja — April 23, 2010 @ 5:48 PM

  3. Hello, Raja. Thanks a tonne for leaving this link on my blog, I thoroughly enjoyed the caustic wit (as I almost always do). I’ve not read anything else on this blog yet, but I certainly hope this is a common strain in your posts.

    P.S: why is your URL “indrajit”?

    Comment by Rimi — April 23, 2010 @ 5:51 PM

    • Welcome, and thank you for reading.
      Indrajit is my name (Raja is nickname) 🙂

      Comment by Raja — April 23, 2010 @ 5:59 PM

  4. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Indrajit Mukherjee. Indrajit Mukherjee said: Change India http://wp.me/p4BB-7E […]

    Pingback by Tweets that mention CHANGE INDIA: IN 8 EASY STEPS « . Informed . Opinions . -- Topsy.com — April 23, 2010 @ 10:27 PM

  5. Gandhi was some visionary, asking us to blog-shog and what not?

    But our Politicians are by far the most entertaining, the most inspiring. Only Arnold Schwarzenegger comes anywhere close and George Bush is happily retired and farming in Texas.

    Jai Ho? Chee I hate that song and imagine chatting in VC++?? That should shut me up for life!!!

    BTW love your style of writing, chuckled through out :))

    Comment by Purba — April 24, 2010 @ 10:49 AM

    • Reference to Gandhi was for sarcasm. May be I failed to be sarcastic there. I’ll try to do better.
      Thanks for your comment, though. Feels nice to have long comments – makes me feel that someone has really read the entire post 🙂

      Comment by Raja — April 25, 2010 @ 5:49 PM

  6. Mind-blowing blog Indra’da!U cn surely b 1 f d front-runners in the race of young “cool” politicians dat d nation z searching fr.Loved ur sarcasm of ds irrational country!

    Comment by Angshool — April 25, 2010 @ 1:28 AM

  7. Indrajit ( i hope this is your name) …i read A FEW NICE WORDS…. did the son die??? did the son die ??? i wept…and it has left me shaken…did the son die before his parents??? is it a real story??? the piece is awesome…

    i am sorry i used this platform to talk about an old post..but i am not too familiar with the blog system and i thot if i leave a comment here you will read it faster …

    did the son die???

    you can use my dialogue box instead of thread in post to reply ..or else..i will not know how to find the link…

    let me know if the 6 yr old left before his parents…and if this is a real life incident….my system refuses to accpet…tho i know the truth from the post..just want to be wrong for once

    Comment by sushmita — April 25, 2010 @ 3:04 AM

    • The son didn’t really die. He was alive to write this blog 😛

      Comment by Raja — April 25, 2010 @ 5:51 PM

  8. You really will change India, wont you!

    Comment by phoenix — April 25, 2010 @ 11:56 AM

    • Nah, I was just teasing you 😉

      Comment by Raja — April 25, 2010 @ 5:52 PM

  9. Fabulous post and I really like your writing style..:-)
    If someone asks who brought the change, I will say Change India Campaign started on this blog!!

    Comment by sands — April 25, 2010 @ 2:32 PM

    • 🙂
      Thanks a lot for that comment
      🙂

      Comment by Raja — April 25, 2010 @ 5:52 PM

  10. Just wondering which parts are sarcasm and which are real? May be you could put the sarcasm in a different color or in special quotes.

    It can get really confusing for simple folk like me.

    Comment by Nagarjun — April 25, 2010 @ 7:34 PM

  11. The sarcasm was not lost on me. I was “trying” to be sarcastic as well :))

    Should I change my name to Purba Sarc-ozy?

    Comment by Purba — April 25, 2010 @ 10:58 PM

  12. I am sorry I dont have time to read ur whole post since I am very busy translating my blog to our one and only national language – hindi. In fact, I am very upset that I cant comment in hindi on ur blog..I am sure this is a ‘conspiracy’ against us Indians – ‘Jai Ho’..oops I mean ‘Jai Hind’

    🙂
    Blogger for our national heroes
    http://bollywoodstylediaries.blogspot.com

    Comment by Sonali — April 26, 2010 @ 5:46 PM

    • Your comment sums up my whole post. Thanks for your comment 🙂

      Comment by Raja — April 26, 2010 @ 9:54 PM

  13. LOL! maybe if i need a break from the usual i should visit all the links in ur earlier blogs too.That should keep me humoured enough to be cool and not morbid at the happenings that don’t appeal to me.Sarcasm can be a good way at looking at things… feeling lighter with all the heavy stuff around.Enjoyed ur post…gifted! i must say. 🙂

    Comment by shivani — April 28, 2010 @ 7:08 AM

    • Thanks. Hope you start feeling better soon.

      Comment by Raja — April 28, 2010 @ 9:09 AM

  14. Good Satire. Just as Cricket has IPL, other games too should have something to match!

    Comment by S.R.Ayyangar — April 28, 2010 @ 10:10 AM

  15. hmmm..very informed post .. :)n except point one – i agree with all the other points…

    Comment by sushmita — April 29, 2010 @ 11:50 AM

  16. I just bought a Ralph Lauren suit that was made in India. In fact as you mention, all the name-brand suits I own were made in India. The one inferior suit I have is made in Jordan.

    Good stuff, as usual.

    🙂

    Comment by Anirban — May 2, 2010 @ 7:12 PM

  17. Awesome …. would like to see the transcript where Gandhiji talked about blogging ….Can we also get some inputs on power cuts and mosquito bites !! Bravo !!

    Comment by le embrouille blogueur — May 11, 2010 @ 2:34 PM

  18. Took me time to read all the comments, but I really enjoyed the article. It proved to be Very helpful to me and I am sure to all the commenters here! It’s always nice when you can not only be informed, but also entertained! I’m sure you had fun writing this article.

    Comment by casinogamesonline — May 12, 2010 @ 8:00 PM

  19. a famous man who had a penchant for children once said that change the man in the mirror. So now i wear my wife’s clothes whenever I shave. My small contribution.

    loved this post.

    Comment by tys — May 26, 2010 @ 1:48 AM

  20. Well, well well! A very well articulated post, again 🙂

    I do not support Gandhi.
    I doubt every Indian’s patriotic feelings.
    I think what Lalu did was right, he only wanted more milk for his *dozen minus one* kids. A father would do that for his kids. Lalu is a good father, I say he be appointed next *father of the nation.*

    Cheers,
    Chintan

    Comment by PK Talli (@PatleeKamar) — September 23, 2011 @ 12:14 PM

  21. arkitekter danmark

    Comment by Pearly Barken — February 13, 2017 @ 2:19 PM


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