“because in that moment you’ll have gone so farI’ll wander mazily over all the earth, asking,Will you come back? Will you leave me here, dying?”
I’ve lost. Finally.
When I am sad and feel you are far away?
The book fell that always closed at twilight
And my blue sweater rolled like a hurt dog at my feet.
Always, always you recede through the evenings
Toward the twilight erasing statues.”
And it happened to my days also. It used to be the break between classes when I’d feel like talking to you. When I’d miss you. When I’d think of you. You gradually consumed the class durations, too. And then my evenings, the time before my sleep, ………… my days, my nights – every second of it ………… every nanosecond of it.
“and it’s getting stupid. u know why, ‘coz I can stand nothing, no one coming between us.
‘coz even when I’m talking to someone and enjoying it, I wish it were u.
‘coz even if someone shows a bit of his interest in me, I feel violated.
‘coz if someone so much as looks at u, I wish they were my eyes.
‘coz hours not spent with u are hours wasted.
‘coz nothing else matters if I’m with u.
‘coz nothing else matters if u’r not with me.
‘coz nothing, but u matter.”
And you did it to my thoughts. You devoured my mind and heart in such a ruthless way that I won’t be able to think/act/breath if I stop thinking of you.
“If I close my eyes
will she go away!
If I stop breathing
is it easier to live!”
And I started fearing death now. I don’ wanna die. Don’ wanna go anywhere leaving the world where you live.
But I didn’t lose by losing myself to you. I didn’t lose by losing you to him. I lost because of your diplomatic love!